The Sky Is Falling ????

Is the world ending in 2011 ? Seems so !!!

Last two days of 2011 seem to be really hectic . The roads are busier , the shops are crowded , the restaurants loud !!
Is everything going to get redundant in the next year ? Are the shops gonna go off to the moon and the restaurants stop serving food after this year ?

All the rush on the streets is about what ? Is the world going to end that people have decided to flee ? A similar kind I noticed when there was plague in Surat ....everybody wanted to run away somewhere , & assure their safety .

But even if the world “was” going to end any which ways , where are these ppl planning to run ? Mars or Saturn ?

What is going to happen ? famine – drought – thunderstorm – tsunami ?
And what best people could do even if it did happen ?I mean its a stampede on the streets out there !!

Its Funny at times why can people breathe ...I mean ppl shop till they drop, run like a leopard all round the year( and more so at the end of the year) eat till they are 100 kgs or choose not to eat at all ....ppl choose to do everything “but” breathe ....

I was sitting in a rickshaw today while going to office on a decently cold morning ! I was just observing people –“running” There were people on bikes thinking(i think) hope they can make impression on their bosses today , people all geared up & armed with their tiffin boxes going to go to office thinking how they can best fight away that 2 % more in their increment cycle. Rickshaw walas thinking how they can suck maximum pockets out of the citizens in the name of “telengana” .

Well off the topic I seriously salute people living monotony !!

I cant understand are people happy ? or tensed ? Or even while they are happy that they thinking of some financial social emotional status to be maintained or fulfilled ?
Why is the purpose of happiness so ...superficial!! i mean ?

Is the world ending in 2011 ?It really seems to me so !!!

Trustfully Yours - Trust !

Trust
The most commonly used word today . Rather , the most hype word today
“You don’t understand the meaning of trust “
“You have broken my trust”
“I trust you “

We do not realize that even when we are throwing a question on the topic of “trust “ so convincingly to the other person , that we ourselves understand very little of it .
Do we know what trust is ? Do We know what it means to break trust ? Do we understand the gravity of acknowledging the fact that we trust a particular person ?
Is it just that we use the word to throw it on to ppl which in turn would make ourselves feel better when we don’t know what to do ? or that we are so devastated by a prevailing situation that we “want” to transfer the blame to some other entity !
I don’t want to make futile effort to define it or go "over broadly" philosophical about the topic.I have lost interest in it anyways !
But i can attempt to write about the characteristics & elements of trust .

-It is inevitable – & you don’t have an option but to trust. You may have choices, sometimes more, sometimes less .. but the decision to trust is inevitable .Whether you want to believe it or not ...whether you do it sooner or later ... the fact is , you do it ...

-Trust fosters trust ; the more you give , the more happier you feel ... If the person in whom you vest it , is a clean soul , It would –by default get transferred into him & would experience a huge sense of responsibility , to keep it

-Trust & forgiveness & not mutually exhaustive, but actually a mutual intersection - what if it does not happen the way you want it? – Reality – it does not really matter! Everybody makes mistakes – everybody wants to be great in life BY forgiving SOMEONE ELSE ....Greatness starts, first by forgiving your own self ! Its easier to write about it than actually do it ! I know that ! & How I know that !! But at the end of day , it has to be done !

-Trust yourself that you will make mistakes – you will learn – you will forgive yourself !! you will ... live !!

-Nobody is born trustworthy – it is more than a virtue . Is  to be nurtured, fostered , grown . & its unconditional . You should not expect if you don’t give..... you shouldn’t even expect when you give ( you would still feel the pinch anyways –cause we are humans at the end of the day & still expect even when we say we don’t ! but a little pinch is better than to be bogged down by it ! )

- Half trust is dangerous : Better choose not to trust rather than trust half halfheartedly!

Trust is that element of an unspoken accepted bond which exist across the universe & one of the most important reason of existence of life on the earth - nature - animals - humans ..everything & everything !
It is one of the secret - vital elements of - "the language of the universe "

I don’t know what is meant by trust ! Just as i don’t know what is meant by love !
I cannot know ! That is the truth & I have accepted & made peace with – cuz sometimes , its better to be ignorant about certain things in life which are too beautiful to understand .
Sometime, someday, somewhere you would find, a person - walking on the street.... Eating an ice cream .....in the train .... in a movie .... on a phone call .... in a hospital ..... through other ppl .......in some way or the other , in any relationship you can think of- brother – sister – friend – enemy – colleague- love interest – long forgotten school time friend –your bestest friend - neighbor ; all what you may want to think of , & also in any relationship you may never think of ....



And then you smile , smile and confirm the happiness about the fact that you don’t know how the mechanics of world – His greater being functions , bow down your head in His greatness & say ... Its your world ... you know how it functions the best !
And you realize, that you trust Him – you trust the vibe of positivity – that epitome of positivity so much that you even make peace with Him even after you fight with Him!



Trust me - Trusting wholeheartedly gives you an all time high !!
:)

Re living life !!

Its true how we forget to live !
We have been so busy doing so many different things that we forget to do the most important thing - "live"

When I was a kid , it was so simple for me , I use to say to myself - " How can I ever loose my sense of being "me" " " .. But every time , I say " How can this ever happen with me !! " ... :) God threw a situation in front of me and said "This is how it happens "
:)

School , colleges , MBAs teach you books , necessary knowledge required to live in the world .... but does nnot teach you how to "Live" ...does not teach you how to " love" does not teach you to "laugh" does not teach you "to live the moment "



Life is like a wide ocean , rather like a journey ..where we are nothing but an origin of the waters in itself ... a wave ..composite of the same element ..yet so different. The same waters turn into life when sudden tide ...and small generations of life filled waves ...start forming , taking shape of wild wave,roaring , gushing , filled with life ,splashing itself relentlessly on the shore . A wave is a wave no more ... but how does it matter .... :) it lived its moment of life , it laughed with pleasure in the arms of the shore , and returned back to the place it belonged . waiting , for a different reason , a different tide , a different pull , a different hope , a different zest , a different zeal . ..without any regrets !

Such is law of the nature ... which we learned fools dont understand , realize , fail to realize - or - even more pitiable - fail to implement !

:)

Thats where you put your feet down down ... realize the fact that you HAVE gone too far from yourself .....and you get on the mission of "re living life " :) opening spaces , for new experiences , new feelings .new people ... :)

Love yourself ... Rest will Follow

At the Hen party yesterday , I became more aware of the fact that it is very important to have lots of things to do for oneself in Life . There is difference between seriousness & rigidity and this should be very clear .

This rigidity is fine if it is doing good to you . But at the end of the day it is a truth that there is no "Perfect Life Partner" only perfect dream boys . All thanks to the Bollywood Film industry & TV serails ,which coveres the minds of the women & the society with this artistic curtain , that every thing seems perfect , thats why one likes to watch it . Who wouldnt like a hunky Dory world , you love some one , you get it , you go ends out for a person and a person realizes it , sooner or later they unite , and they lived happily ever after .

Real world is different ! In the movie where a remorse scene may take only 5 minutes , it may take 5 years in real life ..question is is it really worth it ?

Watching a talk show where some favorite celebs were interviewed , it was very obvious . The ladies loved themselves , to the core , gave a "damn" about only themselves & that is why they were loved by their spouses . Possessiveness did come in the way , but they did not stick to each other at that time & changed because either one of em didnt like it . But adjusted , aligned each other to the ways they thought were mutually best .

And there It became all the more clearer in my mind ... I shouldn't change for somebody .. for anybody cuz then it would no longer be "ME" more than that , I will be a stranger to myself . Not denying the fact that changes do occur , but its when you dont realize the event of change , is a change which is worth keeping .


Affairs turning in to marriages are less possibilities . I want a life long affair with the person I get married to .
A bond that makes me believe that " I stick to the person cause he makes me laugh !!"


"Bhartiya Nari " is in our bloods , so the time the women clan lives , it will remain running in the veins . The only thing is we women need to take it a little "LIGHT" and take a chill pill on that and actually "GO GET A LIFE" of our own !


Explore what you want to do .. find what you like , spend time how you want to instead of cribbing about the fact of why your husband didn't join for your anniversary dinner , or that your love is not returned or that you are neglected or that he is not as romantic as you would want him to be .
Kick it .. bust it ... and go out throw yourself out in the pub or arrange a sleepover with your girlfriends , or a cup of coffee with some good friends .
DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY ABOUT YOURSELF ! !


The funny part is , we keep expecting ppl to love us back , when we ourselves are not justifying it to ourselves . Do I love my own self before I expect others to love me ? Do I take my own ownership ? Do I make myself happy first ? If I don't know Myself , whom will people love ? stranger that i am to myself ?

One needs to get acquainted with oneself more , and I have started making friends with myself , started talking about myself to me instead of about anybody else . Let people around you think "what an IDIOT I have been that i didn't know the worth of the most precious gift that landed directly in my lap !! "

Life partner is a person that you spend "your" life with .... You need to be clear about "your" life :)

Its the time when the onus of happiness should shift . Its about you take charge of when you want to be happy and sad !! That remote control lies with you & no one else .

Love yourself , and the rest ... .... doest really matters then !
:)

Rain Rain come again ....wash away ..all my pain !!!

Rains ...
Typing diligently on my laptop in office ... I could suddenly feel and smell the humidity in the office which was not very common with AC around . My mind rang a bell..and with a streak of gleam in my heart I said to myself "Its raining !!! "

I have become so monotonously tuned to work that I have practically forgotten what day , what week , and what month I am in . ( I do remember the Fiscal year of the company for follow ups so that keeps me grounded ! lol ) Like a robot i know its "june" but I have forgotten how I use to be happy about June cuz its the month rains start ...

Walking on the road , i feel a drop fall on my arm ...which turns into a soft pour of drops of water ...touching your skin like music .The beauty of the light of the lamp post mixing with virgin rain drops when they see the light & beauty with which it falls in the puddle is indescribable !

Rains in the late nights are simply superb ...the sound crystal clear ... the feel of the wet air .Its like the trees are elated with the feel of drops on them that they swing in joy ..celebration

God always has his own ways of telling me that He is around and he is taking good care of me ... only that sometimes I am so busy being unhappy that i am unable to hear His voice ...not His fault ..not his fault at all :)

Sitting down in the basement ...listening to the rain..breathing in the earthy smell os the wet earth ...I realize how beautiful is the rhythm of the rain . I realize that I waste my time so much in cribbing about life that I overlook a lot of beautiful things around me ..Things which I use to like doing before , and in this fast paced life , I no more do it .


When was the last time i actually took time out to observe the "phenomenon" of Rain !!
I have always been running ...running to go to the office BECAUSE it would start raining ..come out of the office to wish its not raining BECAUSE i have to get home to work on a presentation ! Always preoccupied my mind with Running ..... thinking about an argument ..a grudge .. about what did not work in my life ..running away from the feeling of pain !!!

When did I ever think ... to take time out leisure to simple ..walk in the rain ???? to feel every drop on my face .. to smile when I see happy kids splashing water in the mud puddle .. To "shhhh" my mind and look at the leaves receive the rain drops on their skin with due respect .


I am going to take time out ... to let the rain wash all the thoughts in my head .... hum a song ... smile a lot ... get connected to a part of me that I had lost and myself never knew .... and feel happy about getting connected !!
:)

Beauty is not just skin deep .. Its soul deep !

There is a description of how a “Nayika” should be according to the veda of Dance .
Medium height , long hair , straight hair, sharp features , almond shaped eyes , delicate mannerism , slender arms ,short beautiful feet ornamented , very feminine
I never matched the majority in the checklist .
Tall , curly hair, peacock feet , enough reasons to disqualify myself from the standard format of the “Nayika” .
When reading the literature , it use to depress me a bit . the only thing I liked , and I didn’t fit it ? question :WHY
I was 9 that time
I was given the male roles ..height , body stature …. I have played prominent male characters . Ravana being very prominent , and a character I will remember .
People were like ou why would you want to be Ravan ! lol I found the argument to be vague .
I loved the character! It was the right blend . Right blend of Intellect without a direction , right blend of ego , anger , pride ,lust , ambition went overboard . Dramatic..Expressive ! At time , I felt as if I am the meanest person on the stage … I am ..The Ravana … It’s a character to be respected I feel !
After a certain time , I found that it didn’t matter to me . ….. whether I was fitting the grounds of a stereo typed nayika or not . I was happy ! Cuz I was not only the nayika , I was nayak , I was mother , I was Krishna at the same time I was Ravan , I was Shiv And at the same time I was Yashoda .I was Saraswati at the same time I was Amba , Kaali .I was Vishnu and I was Sheshnaag . I was Radha , Krishna’s Radha , madly in love with him …. Who loves to fight with him , loves to blame him , loves to love him …
I wasn’t beautiful just from one aspect … I was beautiful from every aspect. I felt the beauty in my soul. It really didn’t matter to me wat I was . all that mattered …was I was happy… I was feeling beautiful.. In the rhythm ..rhythm in me ….
Nothing mattered to me then , sadness , worry , happiness , remorse , devastation ,relations …nothing … there was only one moment of truth … that I was there …being in my rhythm ,in sync, feeling a splurge of happiness gushing through my gut & feeling so beautiful in my soul .
It a feeling that a infant experiences when the mother takes it in her arms , with both hands wrapped around it …..caressing it .. It a feeling that you are loved !
And it’s a priceless feeling !
Feeling beautiful …… doesn’t matter ..when you are into a totally different world ….where your priorities change …and focus is not on beauty but being aware !

Feeling :A boon

Its a boon to feel :)
Not in the corporate world ...
Who is bothered .. corporate is not life ... just a part of life :)

Its a boon to feel extremes ...
A lot of people are scared of their own emotions ... they make a conscious effort "not" to feel ... Tough guys hunh !
;)
:)

I dont understand whats so wrong to feel vulnerable .
I use to feel the same earlier ..... snub my emotions ... personal emotions ....but then one fine day ... i said to myself .. why am I doing this ? and for who ? who is that person I want to fool ? myself ?

Feelings are a part of me .. its about how I am feeling at that very moment . Why am I snubbing it ? do i like it when somebody else snubs when i express my feelings to him/her ? NO the question is , then why I am doing this to myself at the very first place ? :) why did I give that right to myself first ? :) its wrong :) i should respect my feelings first ... and then .. the rest does not actually matters .. probably thats how you dont bother about expecting .. may be ..

If i feel love .. overflowing .. I acknowledge it ... i say .. I dont know past ... I dont know future .. i know ... RIGHT NOW ... I feel love ..n the moment is priceless ...result .. smile ... ear to ear sometimes , a trickle of happiness from the eye :) :) :)

When I feel angry , I acknowledge it ... I babble unwanted things .. shout , scream ...... and I say to myself .. I will shout .. i will scream reason being I AM ANGRY ! .....and once i acknowledge it ...be in it ... it gets out of head ... and everything is a calm ocean :)

When I feel devastated .. i acknowledge it ... i accept that I feel bad .. its ok to feel bad ... its ok to feel that things are not going around are pinching you ... you are hurt .. feel the hurt ... in your heart .. n let it out from your eyes ......


Every feeling that you feel .. is your own ... dont disown it :) its your own baby .... its just needs your acknowledgment ..... thats the best way to care for it .. n gradually , it would subside :) very lovingly ..
This is something that i would like to call ..emotional cleansing .. which is utmost necessary !

We make the biggest mistake in life .. keep snubbing what we feel and follow the ridiculous rule "BE HAPPY" . & we follow it so religiously that we dont even realize when we start faking it !
:)
In the most break down situations ... you keep snubbing your feeling ... example sad/remorse/devastation and be presentable all the time ,a happy face to the world .. talk , act out to yourself and at the end .. you end up crying like a baby while watching a funny comedy movie :)
:) :) :) and you start feeling so YUCK abt yourself and say ..what the fuck have you being doing to yourself all this time :) :) :)



Be yourself .... feel what you feel like whenever cuz you are ..at the end of the day a human being :)

THEN ... you ll be happy

Everything will pass by ... happiness , joy , love , sadness, tensions , nothing stays ...

:)

Somethings , although , do last forever :) and for that ......."forever" has to come from within oneself ....and then its just :) Forever :) :) :)

I have learnt it today .. i have felt it today :) from a very very darling friend of mine who is a total sweetheart ! M blessed to have such good souls around me .. :) seriously :) I wish all the happiness in the world for that sweet soul ! :)


Feeling is one of the greatest things God has blessed us with ... And all the more He has blessed us with the power to emote ... this is where He has shown his bias of love towards human beings ...words ,actions ,gestures :) ... how often do we acknowledge it ?

:)

He is a master mind sitting up there :) ... no matter how many physics chemistry we keep applying .. His mechanics are the greatest .... so great that you can never understand .. and why do you want to ? He is there to take care of it ....

Keep feeling ...... keep loving ....keep being "Happy" in the true sense of the word and be a reason for others to be happy and spread the same message :)

"LEISURE"

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

By Wm. Henry Davies.
(Wm. Henry Davies (1871-1940) is to be considered as the poet of the tramps. Born at Newport, Wales in the UK, Davies came to America from Great Britain and lived the life of a vagabond. One day, as the result of jumping a train, he lost one of legs. Davies returned to England where he continued to live the life of a tramp and a pedlar. He wrote poetry (presumably he did right along) and, eventually, he determined to print his own book and did so with the little money he earned panhandling. A copy of this first work, A Soul's Destroyer, came into the hands of George Bernard Shaw; which, in turn, led to the popularization of the poet.

Me , myself & Me

I am ....

*Moody
*Voluble
*Laconic
*Fun Loving
*Peace loving
*Wild
*Serene
*Feminine
*Rough
*Conditions applied : on my terms & conditions

I Loathe
- 2 faced ppl ...cuz i dont know which side to slap first .
- Hypocrisy
- Ultra bossy ppl who think they are over protective but are actually massaging their own ego
- cold food , outside food all the time
- super noisy place
- Bad choreography
- Self centered ppl
- people without integrity
- cockroaches
- lizards
- smudged CCD heart shaped cream on capachino
- over demanding rickshawalas
- when I am outta money :P
- a promise broken
- narrow spaces , narrow mindsets , narrow vision
- tiered of life ppl with no enthusiasm ... or ppl with enthusiam only for themselves not for others
- soaring high temperatures
-Non Veg
- out of proportion & frequent drinking
- Crying , feeling sad , feeling lost , feeling alone
- Feeling like a loser /idiot & over stressing my health cuz of this
-Feeling drained out , lifeless
- rotting my brain cells

*Cannot hate something untill and unless I am MADE to hate ,and then i religiously hate it .*

I love ...
> Myself
> Family
>Aum my lil puchka baby
> very close friends circle
>my individuality
> to be pampered
>to be loved
> to be respected
> to be understood
> lime light for all the right reasons
> lime soda sweet n sour
> to be my parent's daughter
>being a woman that God made me
>flowers
>FLOWERS
>Chocolates
>Gelato Madagascar dark chocolate icecream
> sweets
> Archies card shop
> CCD
> TGIF
> Martini
> Mumma's food preparation
> smell of the earth on first rains
> long late night walks , city expedition at its best
> Mango dolly
> getting lost on a long drive
> being silent at times
> cribbing about all the wrong happening in life and throwing it out
> laughing my worries out
> wide natural spaces ... open sky , wide ocean , huge mountains,Waterfalls
> Greenery
> Nature
> LAughing
> Being happy
> good music
>DANCING
>Cothes
>Cosmetics
> Shoes
> Jwelery
> My debit card
>SHOPPING
>Go Carting
> Adventures
>Creativity
>Life
> Vibrancy ....liveliness
>Enthusiasm
> Day dreaming
>Winters
>popcorns
>Warmth
>Moma's Hug
>DOGGIEEEEEEEEEE
>Colors
> being me

....and lots more unexplored


In this whole exercise , I realized , that it took me 15 minutes to figure out what I disliked and 5 minutes to know what I liked .

Hence proved ... Dil to bachcha hai ji ...Thoda kachcha hai ji !!
:)

And I touch the farthest brightest moon tonight , when I dig down deep in my soul & set it free !

Stage !
A wooden set up ..... set up only for some time ..only till the show is on .. and then dis assembled once the work is done .
Simple .
Thats how ppl think of it .

It means Life to me . Stage : a place one can get only if a person is worth it . You have to EARN the stage to be there . A talent , a flair , a passion ....You should have something ... some "X" factor , only then the stage contains you ... else throws you out .

By God's grace , I have never had any stage fears ! one such reason is that I never tried to do something that i was incompetent of on the stage ... probably thats the reason why I was never scared .
Stage is a feeling of HOME to me . Its like I BELONG there . I was meant to be there... I was BORN to be there .
How can the the very pleasure of being on a stage can stress a person ? Its very vague for me ! It like , when I am on stage, I am the Queen and the audience, my people ! Its like I am The highest point in me then ... it gives me goose bumps ... of being thrilled...excited.....Happy !

More so if I am on the stage to dance !


It sets me free .. the area ,It just does not not create a space for your movements ....but it comes from a lot deeper ..space , freedom in your mind ... your heart !!
Its celebration .. joy , extacy ...


The feeling of being a billionaire is nothing in front of this , Feeling class apart & beyond of a kick experienced by drugs or liquor , Its a feel way too beyond an orgasm ...

Its meditation even when you know you are being watched ..... its a feeling of harmony with the living ...Its you are drifted to this world you have never been each and every time !
Its a Feeling beyond compare !

When the mind is not free , in lots of distress .... soul is wanting to come out ... a feeling that has been suppressed for long sees a wide physical elevated space ...... its a let out ... emotional cleansing .. It is shouting at yourself for keeping a feeling bottled up for long ... and like a soda fizzz it come out ...... and every thing is as calm as deep ocean waters once again ....


The feeling of being a billionaire is nothing in front of this , Feeling class apart & beyond of a kick experienced by drugs or liquor , Its a feel way too beyond an orgasm ...

Its meditation even when you know you are being watched ..... its a feeling of harmony with the living ...Its you are drifted to this world you have never been each and every time !
Its a Feeling beyond compare !

:).... :)


Stage for me is positivity ! The concept of winning or loosing is way beyond for me .... it never strikes me .... what matters is I am on it ... Cuz I m there of the Stage's will , I am loved .. I am respected .. I am acknowledged .. I am ...ME ! Thats what matters

Dance ,Art , Stage , Lights on it , heart throbbing music .... they talk to me ... they are like my friends ..... friends who never defy me ... never loath me ... never point a finger at me ... they never demand any change from me ... but at the same time , they change me for good ! I can never be alone !
God has been very kind to have granted me life long friends , guardians , God in Himself !


And I touch the farthest brightest moon tonight , when I dig down deep in my soul & set it free !

:)

I am blessed , and I take this opportunity , to realize this , and Thank God for every small thing He has done for me :)
Love you :)