Beauty is not just skin deep .. Its soul deep !

There is a description of how a “Nayika” should be according to the veda of Dance .
Medium height , long hair , straight hair, sharp features , almond shaped eyes , delicate mannerism , slender arms ,short beautiful feet ornamented , very feminine
I never matched the majority in the checklist .
Tall , curly hair, peacock feet , enough reasons to disqualify myself from the standard format of the “Nayika” .
When reading the literature , it use to depress me a bit . the only thing I liked , and I didn’t fit it ? question :WHY
I was 9 that time
I was given the male roles ..height , body stature …. I have played prominent male characters . Ravana being very prominent , and a character I will remember .
People were like ou why would you want to be Ravan ! lol I found the argument to be vague .
I loved the character! It was the right blend . Right blend of Intellect without a direction , right blend of ego , anger , pride ,lust , ambition went overboard . Dramatic..Expressive ! At time , I felt as if I am the meanest person on the stage … I am ..The Ravana … It’s a character to be respected I feel !
After a certain time , I found that it didn’t matter to me . ….. whether I was fitting the grounds of a stereo typed nayika or not . I was happy ! Cuz I was not only the nayika , I was nayak , I was mother , I was Krishna at the same time I was Ravan , I was Shiv And at the same time I was Yashoda .I was Saraswati at the same time I was Amba , Kaali .I was Vishnu and I was Sheshnaag . I was Radha , Krishna’s Radha , madly in love with him …. Who loves to fight with him , loves to blame him , loves to love him …
I wasn’t beautiful just from one aspect … I was beautiful from every aspect. I felt the beauty in my soul. It really didn’t matter to me wat I was . all that mattered …was I was happy… I was feeling beautiful.. In the rhythm ..rhythm in me ….
Nothing mattered to me then , sadness , worry , happiness , remorse , devastation ,relations …nothing … there was only one moment of truth … that I was there …being in my rhythm ,in sync, feeling a splurge of happiness gushing through my gut & feeling so beautiful in my soul .
It a feeling that a infant experiences when the mother takes it in her arms , with both hands wrapped around it …..caressing it .. It a feeling that you are loved !
And it’s a priceless feeling !
Feeling beautiful …… doesn’t matter ..when you are into a totally different world ….where your priorities change …and focus is not on beauty but being aware !